I still

After 2 months of my breakup, I realized that moving on is not easy. You may can do everything to forget someone but memories don’t leave you so easily. You have to go through so many mood swings. Sometimes you feel you have moved on and at the same time you can feel the pain in heart that its all about yesterday. Even after trying so hard, you don’t stop missing them.

You miss them in each and every moment. You hide the truth from your friends that you can still feel the same. You might hate them for everything bad they did to you but you still fail to hate them because heart knows that how much it loved. You can feel them in songs, movies and everywhere. You want to talk to them and want to smile like before.

You tell the whole world that you are silent and feel numb. You tell yourself the lies that you are not into them and you are in love with yourself. Then why you see them in your dreams? Why every face reminds you of them? Why you suddenly start crying? Because the truth is you are only learning to live without them and that's what we call moving on. When you know that being with them is not the right thing and also unloving them is something impossible then it hurts you deep.

Truth is that its the only solution and healing. Fighting with your own thoughts and reminding your mind the reasons for unloving them. Life goes on like this. Time passes by and you learn to live with your loneliness. Soon, you start finding peace by realising that these all thoughts are useless. You soon realises that peace is not in any person or relationship. It was always inside you but you wasted your time finding somewhere else where you lost it.

Truth the process of healing. It is a time taken process and depends on our acceptance power. But don’t lie to yourself. Accept it of you can’t unlove or can’t hate the person. It is the sign that you need to forgive them.

*Chel, good things will happen soon.